Bleachified musicals
by Kitty Petro
Summary: Credit for idea goes to C. Queen. What happens when a strange girl forces the cast of Bleach to sing musical songs? Hope you like, feel free to review.
1. Chapter 1

Bleachified musicals

*Lights flicks on in a rundown theatre and a spotlight shines on the middle of the stage where Kitty Petro stands smiling to the empty audience*

Kitty: Hello all my faithful viewers and watchers how are you all doing. A while ago I started reading a fanfic of a wonderful woman named C. Queen, who forced the characters of Bleach to sing Disney songs. The idea was so awesome that I decided to try it out myself, although I am very fond of musicals, so therefore I will use musical songs, I hope you will all enjoy.

*smiles evilly and snaps fingers, making several big cages (think really big bird cages) fall down in the audience, each cage containing a Bleach character scowling at the girl on stage*

Kitty: Ladies and gentlemen, your actors for the evening, and possibly the week

Soi Fon: Listen here you son of a bitch, let us loose now or else you will face the consequences.

Kitty: *smiles up at the riled Soi Fon* and what where you expecting to do? You are in a cage, I have all given you some nifty arm bands that keep's your reiatsu in check, and I have your Zanpaktou's so there isn't really anything you can do to me. Now control your temper Shaholin Fon before I make you enter stage first.

Urahara: *Blinks and smiles* Shaholin?

Soi Fon: Stuff it Urahara, before I hurt you

Kenpachi: *Sighs* I have a feeling we are all going to go to therapy at the end of these songs

Rukia: Can we just start this so we can get over whit it?

Kitty: Right you are Rukia, and I decided to start big so I need a lot of people for this *snaps fingers and Soi Fon, Matsumoto, Momo, Hiyori, Kiyone and Nanao appears behind several cages, dressed in black panties and bra's and lisle stockings.

In the side front Urahara, Gin, Hitsugaya, Shinji, Sentaro and Shunsui appears dressed in tight leather pants, nifty hats and jackets, and offstage Yoruichi, Lisa, Mashiro, Unohana and Kensei stands, dressed like the rest of the gang, The girls in panties and bra's and lisle stockings in dark red and black and Kensei in leather pants and a white top and a black hat.

And finally in the middle of the stage whit the spotlight in his eyes Ukitake appears in a tux, looking a bit uncomfortable.

Kitty: Now let's start, take it away Jushiro

Ukitake sighs but starts to talk as music starts in the background: And now the 6 marry murderesses of the Gotei 13 jail in their rendition of the cell block tango

Isane: *blinks and scowls down at Kitty who has sat down in the audience* I hope you are happy

Kitty: Of course I am. Popcorn? *offers a bag making Isane huff and look at the stage*

Behind the cages the girls starts to move and sing to the rhythm, their moves making some of the less courteous males get nosebleeds

Nanao: Pop

Rangiku: Six

Kiyone: Squish

Momo: Uh uh

Soi Fon: Cicero

Hiyori: Shinji

Nanao: Pop

Rangiku: Six

Kiyone: Squish

Momo: Uh uh

Soi Fon: Cicero

Hiyori: Shinji

Nanao: Pop

Rangiku: Six

Kiyone: Squish

Momo: Uh uh

Soi Fon: Cicero

Hiyori: Shinji

All:

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

Soi Fon *draws arm out of cage and points accusingly to the audience*: I bet you you would have done the same!

Nanao: Pop

Rangiku: Six

Kiyone: Squish

Momo: Uh uh

Soi Fon: Cicero

Hiyori: Shinji

Nanao *walks out of open door out to where Shunsui stands calmly*:

You know how people

Have these little habits

That gets you down. Like Shunsui.

Shunsui liked to chew gum.

No, not chew. POP.

*Shunsui gulps at the tone and looks her way*

Nanao *takes Shunsui in his hands and force him into a small seductive tango*:

So I came home this one day

And I am really irritated, and I'm

Looking for a bit of sympathy

And there's Shunsui laying'

On the couch, drinking' sake

And chewing'. No, not chewing'.

*forces Shunsui around fast*

Popping'. So, I said to him,

I said, "You pop that

Gum one more time..."

*She sighs and dries her glasses whit a free hand*

And he did.

*Stands firmly on the ground and forces Shunsui down by dragging on his arm, placing her high heeled boots right up into his face*

So I took the shotgun off the wall

And I fired two warning shots...

*Slides up whit her upper body, placing her hand behind his neck and draws out a red scarf and smiles*

...into his head.

All sings as Nanao dances, Shunsui trying his best not to get hurt by Nanao's heels:

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had himself to blame

Nanao:

*nearly chokes Shunsui whit the scarf, forces him up from the ground and more or less kick's him off stage and walk off herself*

If you'd have been there

If you'd have heard it

I bet you would

Have done the same!

Matsumoto *steps out from the cages and walks up to an eerie calm Gin*

I met Ichimaru Gin from

Rukongai many years ago

And he told me he was single

And we hit it off right away.

*smiles seductively and lays a hand on his shoulder*

So, we started living together.

He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd

Fix him a drink, we'd have dinner.

*gets a good grip on Gin and throws him on the floor, sitting on top of him*

And then I found out,

"Single" he told me?

Single, my ass. Not only

Was he married

*Suddenly goes into a full split on top of Gin, both more or less face to face whit each other*

...oh, no, he had six wives.

One of those Mormons, you know. So that

Night, when he came home, I fixed him

His drink as usual.

*She leans down brushing Gin's hair away from his face as if to kiss him, but drags up a red scarf from his neckline in stead*

You know, some guys just can't hold

Their arsenic.

Hiyori, Nanao & Kiyone

*sings as Matsumoto forces Gin up and into a tango, as Nanao and Shunsui joins them in their dance*

Hah! He had it coming

He had it coming

He took a flower

In its prime

And then he used it

And he abused it

It was a murder

But not a crime!

All:

Pop,

six,

squish,

uh-uh

Cicero,

Shinji

Kiyone *walks out, her expression bordering on to the insane*:

Now, I'm standing in the kitchen

Carving' up the chicken for dinner,

Minding my own business,

*Sentaro comes walking in and the two gets into the usual stare down contest, circling each other, Kiyone continuing her lyrics now and then thrusting her hips*

And in storms my husband Sentaro,

In a jealous rage.

"You been screwing' the milkman," He says.

*Kiyone and Sentaro closes in on each other, and Kiyone is suddenly in Sentaro's arms, one leg sliding up his side*

He was crazy

And he kept screaming',

"You've been screwing the milkman."

And then he ran into my knife.

He ran into my knife ten times..."

*Sentaro backs away as Kiyone get's a hold of the red scarf in the lining of his pants, dragging him back and forces him to dance together whit her and the other two pairs.*

All:

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I bet you would have done the same!

Momo: *comes walking out and does a few ballet moves, Hitsugaya appearing at her side dancing whit her as Momo talks.

(This is what the Hungarian lady is saying, translated to English)

What am I doing here?

They say my famous tenant

Held down my husband and I chopped his head off.

But it's not true. I am innocent.

I don't know why Uncle Sam says I did it.

I tried to explain at the police station but they didn't understand."

Kiyone *smiles gently*:

Yeah, but did you do it?

Momo *shakes her head and draws up a white scarf from Shiro's neck*:

UH UH, not guilty!

All: (whisper)

He had it coming

He had it coming

Etc.

Soi Fon *comes walking out, and stops right in between Yoruichi and Urahara*

My wife Yoruichi and

I had this double act

And her friend Urahara,

Travelled around with us.

Now, for the last number in

Our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks

*Soi, Yoruichi and Urahara places hands on each other's bodies as if it where pure routine*

one two three four, five...splits, spread eagles,

Back flips, flip flops,

One right after the other.

Well, this one night before the show

We were in the hotel Cicero,

The three of us,

Boozing' and

Having' a few laughs

When we run out of ice.

So I went out to get some.

* Soi walks away from Yoruichi and Soi, the two on the side of her*

I come back, open the door

And there's Yoruichi and

Urahara doing Number Seventeen-

The spread eagle.

* The spotlight shines on Yoruichi and Urahara, Urahara holding Yoruichi upside down, her head at his crotch, her legs split into a perfect split right at his face*

Well, I was in such a state of shock,

I completely blacked out.

I can't remember a thing.

It wasn't until later,

When I was washing the blood off my hands

*Soi opens her hands and a red scarf in both hands falls down before she grabs them*

I even knew they were dead.

*Soi starts to dance a strange tango, whit both Yoruichi and Urahara, her face livid (hmm wonder why?) as she continued to sing*

They had it coming

They had it coming

They had it coming all along

I didn't do it

But if I'd done it

How could you tell me that I was wrong?

Soi Fon *shove the other two away, as does the other girl and the 5 girls start doing a solo of their own on the stage, Soi in the middle singing strongest of all*

They had it coming

Rest:

They had it coming

Soi Fon

They had it coming

Rest:

They had it coming

Soi Fon

They had it coming

Rest:

They took a flower

Soi Fon

All along

Rest:

In its prime

Soi Fon

I didn't do it

Rest:

And then they used it

Soi Fon

But if I'd done it

Rest:

And they abused it

Soi Fon

How could you tell me

Rest:

It was a murder

Soi Fon

That I was wrong?

Rest:

But not a crime!

Hiyori *stands still as Shinji comes up from behind her, and drags her into a slow dance*

I loved Hirako Shinji

More than I can possibly say.

He was a real artistic guy...

Sensitive... a painter.

But

*Shinji goes away and walks next up to each person as Hiyori continued talking*

He was always trying

To find himself.

He'd go out every night

Looking for himself

And on the way

He found Lisa,

*Shinji drew a hand through Lisa's hair continuing walking*

Hiyori:

Mashiro,

*Shinji caressed Mashiro's cheek gently*

Retsu

*Shinji smiled and kissed Unohana lightly on the palm of her hand*

and Kensei.

*Kensei and Shinji shared a long look, before Shinji stopped and the others walked into the back, Hiyori coming up to Shinji again*

I guess you can say we broke

Up because of artistic differences.

*Hiyori took a good hold of Shinji's neck whit one hand, and drew up a red scarf from his neckline whit the other, and tried to gag him whit it fast*

He saw himself as alive

And I saw him dead.

All:

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

* All men runs away from the middle of the stage where all the girls gather to finish up the song*

The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum

Nanao, Hiyori, Matsumoto

They had it coming'

Soi Fon, Momo, Kiyone

They had it coming'

Nanao, Hiyori, Matsumoto

They had it coming'

Soi Fon, Momo, Kiyone

They had it coming'

Nanao, Hiyori, Matsumoto

They had it coming'

Soi Fon, Momo, Kiyone

They had it coming'

Nanao, Hiyori, Matsumoto

All along

Soi Fon, Momo, Kiyone

All along

'Cause if they used us

'Cause if they used us and they abused us

And they abused us

Nanao, Hiyori, Matsumoto

How could you tell us?

Soi Fon, Momo, Kiyone

How could you tell us that we were wrong?

That we were wrong?

All:

He had it coming

He had it coming

He only had

Himself

To blame.

If you'd have been there

If you'd have seen it

I bet you

You would

Have done

The same!

*The girls go back to their cell walls and behind them muttering one small line right before entering*

Nanao (Spoken)

You pop that gum one more time!

Matsumoto (spoken)

Single my ass.

Kiyone (Spoken)

Ten times!

Momo (Spoken)

I don't know why Uncle Sam says I did it.

Soi Fon (Spoken)

Number seventeen-the spread eagle.

Hiyori (Spoken)

Artistic differences.

Nanao

Pop!

Matsumoto

Six!

Kiyone

Squish!

Momo

Uh Uh

Soi Fon

Cicero

Hiyori

Shinji

*Cell door closing sound is heard and Kitty snaps her fingers, everyone back in their bird cages in their real clothes*

Kenpachi: *rubs his temples* Yup I where right, we are so going to need therapy when this is over

Kitty: Now wasn't that fun?

Soi Fon: *quick as lightning drags both her arms through the bars, trying to strangle Kitty while screaming like she wanted the entire world to hear her* I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU GOD DAMN SON OF A… *Stops struggling as Kitty suddenly holds up Suzumebachi*

Kitty: Hey Soi I found this lovely tooth picker, you like it? *Soi says nothing* If you calm down I will give it to you when we are finished here, if you don't I will introduce Suzumebachi to a melting furnace is that understood?

Soi: *huffs but relaxes*

Kitty: Good girl *Suzumebachi disappears again* so anyone else want to share the experience?

Kiyone and Sentaro: *give each other a look, and shudder at the same time and looks away*

Kitty: Aw you two are so cute together, and you already argue like an old married couple so… *Kiyone blushes hard but says nothing, and Sentaro scowls*

Kyoraku: *rubs his shoulder from a fall on the stage* Ow, since when did our women become so blood thirsty?

Nanao: *groans* I'll tell you when I know; I just heard the song starting and had to dance and sing.

Gin: I got to say though, no complaints from my position *drools at the thought of Rangiku over himself*

Kitty: Very well then next song. *Snaps fingers and Ichigo, Rukia and Renji is on the stage, Ichigo in a tux, Renji in a dark robe and cape whit a mask covering half his face and Rukia in a pale pink dress whit a red cape* Ladies and gentlemen, here you have all I ask of you from Phantom of the Opera

Rukia a bit scared, as the music starts but relaxes as Ichigo steps up behind her and hugs her, making a rose Rukia was holding fall down to the ground, Renji watching from the background behind a stone horse.

Ichigo:

No more talk

of darkness,

Forget these

wide-eyed fears.

I'm here,

nothing can harm you -

my words will

warm and calm you.

Let me be

your freedom,

let daylight

dry -your tears.

I'm here,

with you, beside you,

to guard you

and to guide you . . .

Rukia *smiles and looks adoringly into Ichigo's eyes*:

Say you love me

every

waking moment,

turn my head

with talk of summertime . . .

Say you need me

with you,

now and always . . .

promise me that all

you say is true -

that's all I ask

of you . . .

Ichigo *hugs Rukia gently as he continues to sing*:

Let me be

your shelter,

let me

be your light.

You're safe:

No-one will find you

your fears are

far behind you . . .

Rukia *steps away from Ichigo, her expression a bit haunted*:

All I want

is freedom,

a world with

no more night . . .

and you

always beside me

to hold me

and to hide me . . .

Ichigo:

Then say you'll share with

me one

love, one lifetime . . .

Let me lead you

from your solitude . . .

*hugs Rukia again and sings loud and clear*

Say you need me

with you

here, beside you . . .

anywhere you go,

let me go too -

Rukia,

that's all I ask

of you . . .

Rukia:

Say you'll share with

me one

love, one lifetime . . .

say the word

and I will follow you . . .

Both

Share each day with

me, each

night, each morning . . .

Rukia

Say you love me . . .

Ichigo

You know I do . . .

Both

Love me -

that's all I ask

of you . . .

*They kiss and catcalls are heard from the audience, even some of the Bleach characters where enjoying this (except for Renji who looked away in disgust on stage and Byakuya in his cage wondering how to kill Kurosaki later on)*

Both:

Anywhere you go

let me go too . . .

Love me -

that's all I ask

of you . .

Rukia

I must go -

they'll wonder where I am . . .

wait for me, Ichigo!

Ichigo *walks off whit Rukia of to the back of the stage, singing softly*

Rukia, I love you!

Rukia

Order your fine horses!

Be with them at the door!

Ichigo

And soon you'll be beside me!

Rukia

You'll guard me, and you'll guide me . . .

They walk off and the spotlight shines now on Renji who walks out and takes up the rose on the ground, a single tear falling down on his cheek

Renji

I gave you my music, made your song take wing.

And now, how you've repaid me, denied me and betrayed me.

He was bound to love you, when he heard you sing.

(sobs)Rukia, Rukia.

Rukia and Ichigo *in the background continues to sing happily*

Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime

Say the word and I will follow you

Share each day with me, each night, each morning...

Renji *is now livid in anger and makes the rose crumble in his hands standing up and sings loudly making everyone's hair stand on end*

You will curse the day you did not do

All that the Phantom asked of you!

Kitty: *smiles and snaps fingers again Ichigo, Renji and Rukia back in their cages* I am a sucker for mushy songs, thank you for doing that

Ichigo: As if we had a choice

Rukia: *groans* I can't believe we kissed

Byakuya: You two would do well to sleep whit one eye awake for the next year or so, just to have given you a fair warning

Ichigo and Renji gulps and Rukia looks worried over at her brother

Kitty: *smiles friendly ignoring Renji and Ichigo who tried to not look at Byakuya* Now then last song for the evening, hope you'll all enjoy *snaps fingers and Tatsuki and Orihime appears on stage, Tatsuki whit a green tint on her skin dressed in a black dress and a black witches hat, Orihime in a pink frilly dress and a tiara, her hair curled slightly whit a wand in her hand* And now, closing down for tonight we have Tatsuki and Orihime in a rendition of For good from the musical wicked. The floor is yours ladies.

Tatsuki *smiles and holds hands whit Orihime being a bit sad as she starts to sing*

I'm limited

just look at me I'm limited

and just look at you

you can do all I couldn't do

Orihime,

so now it's up to you

for both of us

now it's up to you

Orihime *smiles and sings too trying to make Tatsuki feel better*

I've heard it said

that people come into our lives

for a reason

Bringing something we must learn

and we are lead to those

who help us most to grow

if we let them and we help them in return

Well I don't know if I believe that's true

But I know I'm who I am today

Because I knew you.

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun

Like a stream that meets a boulder

halfway through the wood.

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

but, because I knew you

I have been changed for good.

Tatsuki

It well may be

that we will never meet again

in this lifetime

so let me say before we part

so much of me

is made from what I learned from you

You'll be with me

like a hand print on my heart

Now whatever way our stories end

I know you have rewritten mine

by being my friend

Like a ship blown from its mooring

by a wind off the sea

like a seed dropped by a sky bird

in a distant wood

Who can say

if I've been changed for the better?

But because I knew you

Orihime

because I knew you

Both

I have been changed for good

Tatsuki

And just to clear the air

I ask forgiveness

for the things I've done you blame me for

Orihime

But then I guess we know there's blame to share

Both

And none of it seems to matter any more

Orihime

Like a comet pulled from orbit

Tatsuki

like a ship blown from its mooring

Orihime

As it passes a sun

Tatsuki:

By a wind off the sea

Orihime

Like a stream that meets a boulder

Tatsuki

Like a seed dropped by a bird

Orihime

Halfway through the wood

Tatsuki

in a wood

Both

Who can say if I've been changed for the better?

I do believe I have been changed for the better

Orihime

And because I knew you

Tatsuki

because I knew you

Both

because I knew you,

I have been changed...

for... good

*Kitty snaps fingers and both girls are back in their cages*

Chizuru: Aw my little Hime was so cute on stage

Tatsuki: Watch it Chizuru before I hurt you

Kitty: And that's all for now, I hope you enjoyed yourself

Kira: Is she serious?

Kitty: Ah admit it; you are enjoying yourselves aren't you?

Hitsugaya: I'll admit that you are whacked in the head

Kitty: Keep it up Shiro Chan and you will be first up to sing a solo in the next instalment *Shiro Chan shudders and Kitty smiles* Now then people once again, I hope you have enjoyed yourself, if you have any wishes of songs and characters you want me to post, feel free to review and post them.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Kitty: Hello people I'm back, missed me?

Komamura: As much as I miss fleas

Iba: Careful taicho, she's dangerous

Kiyone: Tell me about it, I am so going to have nightmares about the cellblock tango for ages.

Sentaro: Wich part? The part where we got so close, or the part where I outshone you without even singing

The rest of the cast sighs or groans

Ukitake: *sighs holds his head in his hand* Here we go again

Kiyone: Excuse me now what was that?

Isane: Please Kiyone calm down; let's not start this up now

Sentaro: *not hearing anything turns to Kiyone* I said I am better than you in every possible way midget

Kiyone: THE HELL YOU ARE YOU BIG MONKEY *the two of them starts of whit their usual ranting*

Kitty: *sighs and hold up her hand like she is about to snap them, and everything go silent* I am so tired of you two arguing about who is best, so let's find it out shall we? *snaps fingers and Kiyone and Sentaro are on stage, Kiyone dressed in a red dress whit white sleeves, Sentaro in a smoking* Ladies and gentlemen let me introduce you to Anything you can do, from Annie get your gun

Kiyone: *Stare up at Sentaro pissed of at him*

Anything you can do,

I can do better.

I can do anything

Better than you.

Sentaro: *laughs, as if it was the most ridiculous thing he had heard*

No, you can't.

Kiyone:

Yes, I can.

Sentaro:

No, you can't.

Kiyone:

Yes, I can.

Sentaro:

No, you can't.

Kiyone:

Yes, I can,

Yes, I can!

Sentaro: *tries to look dignified*

Anything you can be

I can be greater.

Sooner or later,

I'm greater than you.

Kiyone:*crosses arms*

No, you're not.

Sentaro:

Yes, I am.

Kiyone:

No, you're not.

Sentaro:

Yes, I am.

Kiyone:

No, you're NOT!

Sentaro:

Yes, I am.

Yes, I am!

I can shoot a partridge

With a single cartridge.

Kiyone: *smiles in challenge*

I can get a sparrow

With a bow and arrow.

Sentaro: *Smiles proudly*

I can live on bread and cheese.

Kiyone: *mock surprised*

And only on that?

Sentaro: *grins in victory*

Yes.

Kiyone *smiles to*:

So can a rat!

Sentaro:

Any note you can reach

I can go higher.

Kiyone:

I can sing anything

Higher than you.

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *sings high*

Kiyone:

Yes, I can. *sings higher*

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *Sings higher*

Kiyone:

Yes, I can. *sings higher*

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *Sings higher*

Kiyone:

Yes, I can. *sings higher*

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *Sings higher*

Kiyone:

Yes, I can. *sings higher*

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *Sings higher*

Kiyone:

Yes, I CAN! *Sings highest*

Anything you can buy

I can buy cheaper.

I can buy anything

Cheaper than you.

Sentaro:

Fifty cents?

Kiyone:

Forty cents!

Sentaro:

Thirty cents?

Kiyone:

Twenty cents!

Sentaro: *waves it off*

No, you can't!

Kiyone:

Yes, I can,

Yes, I can!

Sentaro:

Anything you can say

I can say softer.

Kiyone:

I can say anything

Softer than you.

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *Softly*

Kiyone:

Yes, I can. *Softer*

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *Softer*

Kiyone:

Yes, I can. *Softer*

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *Softer*

Kiyone:

Yes, I can. *Softer*

YES, I CAN! *Full volume*

Sentaro:

I can drink my liquor

Faster than a flicker.

Kiyone:

I can drink it quicker

And get even sicker!

Sentaro: *Snorts*

I can open any safe.

Kiyone: *crosses arms*

Without bein' caught?

Sentaro: *smiles*

Sure.

Kiyone: *Nods*

That's what I thought--

you crook!

Sentaro:

Any note you can hold

I can hold longer.

Kiyone:

I can hold any note

Longer than you.

Sentaro:

No, you can't.

Kiyone:

Yes, I can

Sentaro:

No, you can't.

Kiyone:

Yes, I can

Sentaro:

No, you can't.

Kiyone:

Yes, I can

*They sing at the same time, Sentaro eventually giving up while Kiyone continues, smiling a I told you so look*

Kiyone:

Yes, I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I

Seantaro:

No, you C-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-N'T—

Kiyone: *taking a deep breath:

CA-A-A-A-N! (Cough, cough!)

Sentaro: *rolling his eyes*:

Yes, you ca-a-a-an!

Kiyone:

Anything you can wear

I can wear better.

In what you wear

I'd look better than you.

Sentaro: *laughs disbelieving*

In my coat?

Kiyone:

In your vest!

Sentaro:

In my shoes?

Kiyone:

In your hat!

Sentaro: *red faced in anger nearly screams*

No, you can't!

Kiyone: *screams loud too*

Yes, I can

Yes, I CAN!

Sentaro:

Anything you say

I can say faster.

Kiyone:

I can say anything

Faster than you.

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *sings fast*

Kiyone:

Yes, I can. *sings faster*

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *sings faster*

Kiyone:

Yes, I can. *sings faster*

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *sings faster*

Kiyone:

YesIcan!*sings fastest*

Sentaro:

I can jump a hurdle.

Kiyone:

I can wear a girdle.

Sentaro:

I can knit a sweater.

Kiyone:

I can fill it better!

Sentaro:

I can do most anything!

Kiyone:

Can you bake a pie?

Sentaro:

No.

Kiyone:

Neither can I.

Sentaro:

Anything you can sing

I can sing sweeter.

Kiyone:

I can sing anything

Sweeter than you.

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *Sings sweetly*

Kiyone:

Yes, I can. *sings sweeter*

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *sings sweeter*

Kiyone:

Yes, I can. *sings sweeter*

Sentaro:

No, you can't. *sings sweeter*

Kiyone:

Yes, I can. *Sings sweeter*

Sentaro:

No, you can't, can't, can't Sings sweeter*

Kiyone:

Yes, I can, can, can *sings sweetest*

*Both finish off at the same time in a true Sentaro and Kiyone showdown*

Yes, I can!

No, you can't!

Kitty: *snaps fingers and the two 3rd seats are back in their cages* well that settles it, Kiyone is better, so hush on you

Kiyone: HAH TAKE THAT YOU OLD GOAT

Sentaro: WHAT WAS THAT MIDGET?

Kitty: *screams loud enough to be heard over the two* I SAID HUSH, UNLESS YOU TWO WANT TO ENTER THE STAGE AGAIN.

Kiyone and Sentaro gulps and shuts up

Kitty: Thank you

Momo: *giggles softly*

Kitty: * You liked the number Hinamori?

Momo: *blushes hard and advert Kitty's gaze* H-hai, a little bit

Kitty: *smiles gently* you like to sing Momo?

Hitsugaya: *get's a good grip on the cage he is in and glares at Kitty* leave her alone you little hellcat.

Kitty: *gently holds up her arm again and Shiro turns quiet* be careful Shiro Chan, before you end up on the stage. As for Momo, I'm not that evil that I send Momo into a solo song, she will get some friendly company *snaps fingers and Momo, Matsumoto, Isane, Orihime, Nemu and Rukia is suddenly on stage. Momo is dressed in a yellow and black leotard, Matsumoto is dressed in a red and black leotard, Rukia in a white leotard, Orihime in a white, black and orange leotard, Nemu in a white and yellow and grey leotard and Isane in an almost black leotard whit hints of auburn. All of them have tails and ears in matching colours, as well as spiky collars* And now ladies and gentlemen, starring Momo and Matsumoto, here you have Aizen the mystery cat originally from Cats the musical.

Aizen: *softly to himself* this should be amusing

The 6 women walk around softly and warily as if looking or hiding from someone. Momo shakes softly s if she's afraid, Matsumoto a bit in the back. Soon, only Momo and Matsumoto are in the middle of the stage the 4 others on the sides, relaxing for the minute being.

Momo: *turns around again a few times and turns to the audience and starts to sing, her eyes fearful, dancing around while singing, her moves enough to make Hitsugaya blush*

Aizen is a mystery cat

he's called the hidden paw

For he's a master criminal

who can defy the law

He's the bafflement of Second Squad

the Stealth Forces' despair

For when they reach the scene of crime

Aizen's not there!

Momo *thrusts her hips a few times, her hands gliding over the front of her leotard, turning to Matsumoto who gives her an encouraging smile, so Momo continues to sing, still dancing as if Matsumoto had taught her the moves*

Aizen, Aizen

there's no one like Aizen

He's broken every human law

he breaks the law of gravity

His powers of levitation

would make a fakir stare

And when you reach the scene of crime

Aizen's not there!

You may seek him in the basement

you may look up in the air

But I tell you once and once again

Aizen not there!

*Momo drops down in fear as if she heard Aizen turn a corner and Matsumoto stands up from where she had been sitting in the back, just to walk down to Momo, she to singing and dancing, her hips softly swaying*

Matsumoto:

Aizen an auburn cat,

he's very tall and thin

You would know him if you saw him

for his eyes are sunked in

His brow is deeply lined in thought

his head is highly domed

His coat is dusty from neglect

his whiskers are uncombed

He sways his head from side to side

with movements like a snake

And when you think he's half asleep

he's always wide awake

Aizen, Aizen,

there's no one like Aizen

*She points to Momo as if to tell her that this is the truth no matter how she feel about it and also turn to the other 4 girls around them all who looks a bit fearful*

He's a fiend in feline shape

a monster of depravity

You may meet him in a by-street

you may see him in the square

But when a crime's discovered then

Aizen's not there!

Momo *rises to sing together whit Matsumoto*

He's outwardly respectable

Matsumoto: *smiles*

I know he cheats at cards

Momo: *turns her head in disbelief but continues on*

And his footprints are not found

in any files of Second Squad

Matsumoto and Momo starts to circle around each other and continued singing their way up to the climax beaconing forward the other girls

Matsumoto:

And when the larder's looted

Momo:

or the jewel case is rifled

Matsumoto:

Or when the milk is missing

Momo:

or another peke's been stifled

Matsumoto:

Or the greenhouse glass is broken

Momo:

and the trellis past repair

Both:

There's the wonder of the thing Aizen's not there!

The rest of the girls line up in the back and all of them starts to dance and sing a routine that blows everyone away, Matsumoto and Momo in the middle.

All:

Aizen, Aizen

there's no one like Aizen

There never was a cat

of such deceitfulness and suavity

He always has an alibi

and one or two to spare

What ever time the deed took place

Aizen wasn't there!

The 4 minor girls continues to softly dance in the back as Matsumoto an Momo softly continued to sing a little longer just the two of them

Both:

And they say that all the cats

whose wicked deeds are widely known

Momo:

I might mention Ichimaru

Matsumoto:

I might mention Tousen

Both:

Are nothing more than agents

for the cat who all the time

Just controls the operations

the Napoleon of crime!

One final time all 6 girls sings loud and clear and dance, everyone in their cages (and Kitty) blown away to finish the song to get it over whit

All:

Aizen, Aizen

there's no one

like Aizen

He's a fiend in feline shape

a monster of depravity

You may meet him in a by-street

you may see him in the square

But when a crime's discovered then

Aizen, Aizen

Aizen, Aizen

When a crime's discovered then

Aizen is not there!

Kitty: *snaps fingers and everyone is back in their seats* Memo to self, Matsumoto in leotard bad idea.

Gin: *dries nosebleed* I suddenly regret turning evil, any way I can get a second chance?

Soi Fon: When pigs fly Ichimaru

Gin: Damn *snaps fingers annoyed* Hey… Ran Chan…

Matsumoto: Go to hell Gin

Gin: *sighs* Oh well worth a try

Aizen: *slowly claps his hands* Splendid show ladies, encore, encore

Kitty: Only I get to tell them encore Aizen so stop clapping

Aizen: Why should I?

Kitty: Reason 1, I have your Zanpakuto, Reason 2, I know its name, Reason 3, I have no problem hypnotising you into thinking you are a 9 year old girl, do you want me to state reason 4?

Aizen stopped clapping, making the espada who had been sitting quietly in their cages not to pay attention to themselves start to chuckle

Kitty: You think this is funny guys?

Grimmjow: *suddenly realising it's him the mad girl is looking at starts to sweat a little* N-n-no not at all ma´am.

Kitty: So you think I am boring is that so?

Grimmjow: *panics not seing that Kitty is setting him up* NO, no, I mean… ehh… oboy, anyone here wanna help me explain?

Halibel: And be dragged into this? Hell no?

Kitty: *smiles holding up her hand* And just for that, you two just became the main singers in the next song *Snaps fingers and Halibel, Adult Nel, Sun Sun, Mila Rose, Apache, Grimmjow, Szayel, Ulqiorra, Stark and Nnoitora is on the stage. The girls are dressed in Latino dresses, Halibel having a veil in front of her face, to replace what her jacket usually hid, the boys dressed in loose jackets*

Halibel: *Looks over herself then glares at Grimmjow* you are so dead once we get back to Las Noches

Kitty: And whit that let me introduce you to the song Las Noches, originally from West side story

Halibel and Grimmjow glares at each other, as if they had had a big fight, and Halibel starts to sing, her voice loaded whit a thick Latino accent

Halibel:

Hueco Mundo

My heart's devotion

Let it sink back in the sand

Halibel: *Starts to dance a Latino dance to seduce the boys*

Always the hurricanes blowing

Always the population growing

And the money owing

And the moonlight streaming

And the natives steaming

I like the castle Las Noches

Smoke on your pipe

And put that in!

The other girls smiled and went up together whit Halibel to a face down whit the boys

Girls:

I like to be in Las Noches

Okay by me in Las Noches

Everything free in Las Noches

Grimmjow

For a small service in Las Noches

Nel:

Buying on credit is so nice

Stark:

One look at us and they charge twice

Sun Sun

I'll have my own washing machine

Ulqiorra:

What will you have though to keep clean?

Halibel:

Skyscrapers bloom in Las Noches

Apache:

Cadillacs zoom in Las Noches

Mila Rose:

Industry boom in Las Noches

Boys:

Twelve in a room in Las Noches

Halibel:

Lots of new housing with more space

Grimmjow:

Lots of doors slaming in our face

Halibel:

I'll get a terrace apartment

Grimmjow:

Better get rid of your accent

Halibel:

Life can be bright in Las Noches

Boys:

If you can fight in Las Noches

Girls:

Life is all right in Las Noches

Boys:

If you're all shinigami in Las Noches

*The girls and boys dance for each other, before they stand face to face whit each other and glares to prove their points*

Girls:

Here you are free and you have pride

Boys:

Long as you stay on your own side

Girls:

Free to be anything you choose

Boys:

Free to serve shinigami's and get bored

Grimmjow:

Everywhere grime in Las Noches

Organized crime in Las Noches

Terrible time in Las Noches

Halibel:

You forget I'm in Las Noches

*She winks and the girls coo and the boys catcalls before the girls dance for the boys, dragging on their dresses and smiling gently*

Grimmjow:

I think I'll go back to Hueco Mundo

Halibel:

I know what door you can walk through

*The girls bend over slightly to the side, closing their eyes and smiles, looking slightly like Gin waving their hands*

Girls:

Bye, bye

Grimmjow:

Everyone there will give big cheer!

Nel:

Everyone there will have moved here

*The girls laugh and starts to taunt the boys' whit another dance whit hands clapping and doggie shouting, soon the boys join them, the dancing intensifying and ending whit all girls on a shoulder of a boy*

All:

OLÉ

Kitty: *snaps fingers and everyone is back in their cages. She blinks as she hears a sound and turns, lifting an eyebrow to see most of the shinigami's smiling and clapping, as if they had just seen the funniest movie in the world* Yes guys can I help you?

Ichigo: *tries to talk while laughing his ass off* Ulqiorra ha, ha, ha, ha singing, ha, ha, ha Grimmjow singing, oh my good so funny

Halibel: *Send's a glare their way then turn to Grimmjow* I meant what I said; you are so dead when we get back to Las Noches.

Grimmjow: Unless I kill myself now.

Kitty: The shinigami stop clapping now or face the consequences. *the clapping stopped* Thank you. Now then that was all for act 2, I hope you all enjoyed, and I will se you soon and Hiyori if you know what's good for you stop trying to dirk up the cage door whit your hairpin, got it?

Hiyori: *blinks at being caught and sighs before putting the hairclip back in her hair* Damn it

Kitty: And whit that I bid you all farewell and a good night.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Kitty: *runs inside to the spotlight* Eep, totally forgot I still had to make 3 more chapters of this, but hey no harm done, right?

Everyone in their cages groan, either sitting or lying down

Yoruichi: *groans and reaches out a hand* F-f-f-f-food…

Kitty: *sigh and snaps fingers and everyone is suddenly feed and healthy again* really though guys, sorry about that. Now let's start this shall we?

Jinta: *sighs loudly* Do we really have a choice?

Kitty: *smiles wide* and just for that you and the girls are the first one's out tonight *snaps fingers and Jinta Yuzu and Mashiro is down on stage, Mashiro in the background dressed in a blue dress ending right over her knees whit a bow on the back, Jinta dressed in black pants and a purple and black striped shirt and Yuzu dressed in a pink dress whit small black dots her blonde hair slightly curled* And now ladies and gentlemen from the musical 'You're a good man Charlie Brown' comes the song my new philosophy. Take it away Yuzu

Yuzu: *takes up a piece of paper that clearly shows a huge D written in red then lowers the paper, a small scowl on her face* "oh, yeah. That's what you think." *she pokes the paper angry

Jinta: *raises an eyebrow* "What?"

Yuzu: That's my new philosophy: "Oh, yeah?

That's what you think!" *she pokes the paper again*

Jinta: "Well, why are you telling me?"

Yuzu: *looks up from the paper* "What?"

Jinta: *holds out hands in a why gesture* Why are you telling me?

Yuzu: *copies the pose muttering to herself*

"Why are you telling me?" *she smiles and points to the celing speaking up, a piano sounding in the background* I like it!

That's a good philosophy.

"Why are you telling me?"

Why are you telling me?"

*She smiles and starts to sing*

"Why are you telling me?"

My new philosophy

The teacher gave a "D" on last week's homework

She said, "Miss Kurosaki Yuzu,

Your grades are going down."

I could have told her-

Jinta: *singing too* You new philosophy?

Yuzu:

My new philosophy!

*she turns her voice slightly higher in pitch and speaks as a teacher looking down to the floor*

Miss K?

*looks up as if looking at teacher*

I'm she

*points paper to floor as teacher*

Look see.

*sigh looking up*

A "D?"

*looks down nodding*

A "D."

*she sharply looks over her shoulder scowling*

Well, why are telling me?

*she smiles rascally throwing away the paper not caring about it anymore*

And that's my new philosophy!

Jinta:

That's your new philosophy?

Yuzu:

Why are you telling me?

My new philosophy!

Jinta: *sighs and starts to leave

That's great, Yuzu, but I've got to go sweep the front of the shop…

Yuzu: *points a finger at him making him stop*

No!!

*she smiles*

I like it! "No!" That's a good philosophy.

"No!" "No!" "No!"

Jinta: *slightly angry*

That's you new philosophy, huh?

Yuzu:

Yes. *Jinta smiles in triumph making Yuzu shake her head*

I mean-- "No!"

Just like a bust bee

Each new philosophy

Can fly from tree to tree and keep me moving

When life's a dizzy maze

On alternating days

I choose a different phrase-

Jinta:

Your new philosophy?

Yuzu:

My new philosophy!

Jinta: *shakes his head walks up to Yuzu:

Yuzu!

Some philosophies are simple:

"Man does not eat by bread alone."

Some philosophies are clear:

Yuzu:

"Leave your message at the sound of the tone."

Both:

Some philosophies pick and choose

Deciding what goes in it.

Jinta:

Some take a lifetime,

Yuzu: *looks triumphant*

Mine take a minute.

Jinta: *rolls his eyes trying to explain*

But, Yuzu, anything that takes only a minute can't be

very lasting. For instance, Urahara used 100 years too…

Yuzu: *points*

"No!"

Jinta: *throws his hand up in the air and leaves the scene pissed*

I can't stand it!

Yuzu:

"I can't stand it!" I like it!

*she starts to dance a small child's dance continuing to sing whit a large smile on her face*

It's like a gurantee.

My new philosophy.

And things are sure to be a whole lot brighter

"Oh, yeah? That's what you think!"

"Why are you telling me?"

"No!"

"I can't stand it!"

Now life is free and easy,

Much more philosophy-zy,

With my brand new-

*She stops dancing to talk*

You know, someone had said that we should live every day as

if it were the last day of our life.

Mashiro: *pass by and overhears*

Aaugh! This is the last day!! This is it!! I only have

twenty-four hours left!! Help me! Help me! This is the last

day!! Aaugh! *runs offstage*

Yuzu: *blinks and hold out a hand indicating Mashiro's choice of exit*

Clearly, some philosophies aren't for all people.

And that's my new philosophy!

Kitty: *smiles and snaps fingers making the 3 people get back into their cages in their normal clothes* Well that was fun

Ichigo: *scowls at Kitty and turns to Yuzu* You OK Yuzu?

Yuzu: Hai Ichigo I'm ok

Soi Fon: *scowls down to Kitty* you should be ashamed Petro, making a girl go through that

Kitty: *smiles* Yeah you are right, I should make some adults suffer in stead *holds up fingers making Soi Fon gulp and snaps them, making Soi and Yoruichi land on stage, Soi dressed in a white suit, Yoruichi dressed in a pair of jeans, a top and a red jacket. The scene showed a posh diner room and Soi and Yoruichi where scowling at each other* And now, from the musical Rent, here is the song Take me or leave me.

Yoruichi: *gives Soi a small reproaching look*

You know what Ms Ivy League?

I can't take much more of this, this obsessive compulsive control freak paranoia

Soi: *widens her eyes* what?

Yoruichi: I didn't pierce my nipples because it grossed you out

I didn't stay at the King's club last night because you wanted to go home

Soi: *scowling too, music appearing in the background* you where flirting whit the woman in rubber

Yoruichi: *throws her arms up* There will always be women in rubbing flirting whit me, give me a break * She starts to sing trying to make Soi see her point of view*  
every single day,  
i walk down the street  
i hear people say 'baby so sweet'  
ever since puberty  
everybody stares at me  
boys girls i can't help it baby *Soi huffs and turns away walking a few steps Yoruichi following her*  
so be kind and don't lose your mind *Yoruichi reaches her and forces Soi into a small dance, dragging her hand down her thigh*  
just remember that i'm your baby

take me for what i am  
who i was meant to be  
and if you give a damn *Yoruichi smiles and drags Soi around and places both Soi's hands on her breast making Soi let go and walk away*  
take me baby  
or leave me

take me baby or leave me

*Yoruichi smiles and jumps on a table whit an ice sculpture taking of her jacket placing it on the sculpture*  
a tiger in a cage  
can never see the sun  
this diva needs her stage  
baby lets have fun  
you are the one i choose  
folks would kill to fill your shoes

*Yoruichi jumps down and Soi takes the jacket off the sculpture ignoring Yoruichi until Yoruichi tugs at her own top as if to show her boobs to the audience and tries to stop her Yoruichi still singing strong*  
you love the lime light to now baby  
so be mine and don't waste my time

*Soi gives up as Yoruichi runs away from her chosing to call an angry DON'T YOU DARE as Yoruichi continues to sing*  
cryin' 'oh honey bear are you still my, my, my baby?'

take me for what i am  
who i was meant to be  
and if you give a damn  
take me baby or leave me  
*They walk through the scene, now in a hallway whit a staircase, Soi walking up the stairs Yoruichi continuing her singing at the bottom of the stairs, now adding in some not so subtle moves making more than one man in the audience get a nosebleed*  
no way, can i be what i'm not  
but hey, don't you want your girl hot?

*She start to walk up the stairs to Soi*  
don't fight, don't loose your head  
'cause every night who's in your bed?  
who?  
who's in your bed?  
*continuing up Yoruichi is now walking on her knees as a loyal dog ending up at Soi's feet whit her hands up like a begging dog, her eyes big*  
spoken:kiss pookie

Soi Fon *holds up a hand not looking at her but starts to sing, anger in her tone clear to everyone, helping Yoruichi up from her knees before walking down*  
it won't work  
i look before i leap  
i love margins and discipline  
i make lists in my sleep baby  
whats my sin?  
never quit  
i follow through

*Soi is staring at Yoruichi who look disappointed in not getting her way*  
i hate mess but i love you  
what do with my improptu baby?

*Soi points a finger to Yoruichi telling her to listen to her for once*  
so be wise 'cause this girl satisfies  
you got a prize but don't compromise

*Soi drags of her jacket showing a nice top and an equally nice body to match it whit*  
you're one lucky baby  
Soi *throws the jacket into Yoruichi's face stretching her arms to the sky walking down the stairs continuing to sing Yoruichi walking behind her talking to herself*  
Soi Fon: take me for what i am  
Yoruichi: a control freak  
Soi Fon: who i was meant to be  
Yoruichi: a snob yet over attentive  
Soi Fon: and if you give a damn  
Yoruichi: a loveable droll geek  
Soi Fon: take me baby or leave me  
Yoruichi: a anal retentave

The girls walk into the next scene suddenly facing each other singing loudly facing each other scowling*  
both: thats it  
Soi Fon: the straw that breaks my back  
both: i quit  
Soi Fon: unless you take it back  
both: women  
Yoruichi: what is it about them?  
both: can't live with them or without them

*They start to circle around each other finishing up the song*  
both: take me for what i am  
Soi Fon: who i was meant to be  
Yoruichi: who i was meant to be  
and if you give a damn  
Soi Fon: and if you give a damn then  
take me baby, or leave me  
Yoruichi:take me baby, take me or la-la-la-la-la-leave me  
both: take me baby or leave me

*They walk away from each other speaking the same line simontaniously and turns away from each other*

guess i'm leaving

i'm gone!

The song finishes but no snap noise is heard. Soi looks up to where Kitty sits safe from harm smiling sad.

Kitty: It is a very nice song, although the ending isn't how I like it, so that being said, the two of you can kiss and hug and make up. I will have no part in making the two of you break up.

Soi Fon: *blushes furiously* what do you mean break up? We have never been together.

Kitty: Well better sooner than never so hug

Yoruichi: *hurries to hug a startled Soi from behind before she start to shout at Kitty again* Never change please little bee

Soi: *now sporting a very nice shade of crimson on her face just nods silently calming down in Yoruichi's embrace*

Kitty: Now that is what I call a show *snaps fingers and Soi and Yoruichi are back in their cages in normal clothes again* OK one more before we finish up for tonight *gives a small smile making everyone in their cages gulp* How about a little song for the 4th and the 11th?

*Kitty snaps her fingers and suddenly Unohana, Kenpachi, Ikkaku, Yumichka, Maki Maki, Hanataro, Yachiru, Hitsugaya, Momo and Rukia is down on stage. Unohana is dressed in a Switzerland inspired dress, White whit big buns around her arms, laces around the hems, and a small apron on the front of the skirt part of the dress. A small bell hangs around her neck, tied whit a black collar and a pair of black shoes can be seen appearing under her skirt. She is wearing a wig giving her short curly brown hair, a pair of goat horns appearing on the top of her head.

Hanataro, Yachiru, Hitsugaya, Momo and Rukia are wearing similar wigs and clothes, the boys getting lederhosen's in stead of a skirt. Kenpachi is wearing black tight pants and a black shirt and black boots. Over his shirt he was dressed in a black jacket whit many loose strings around his chest and back. He is also wearing a wig, his in greyish purple, hanging down to his shoulders, also forming a pair of wolf's ears. Ikkaku is styled mostly the same as his taicho, only whit a pair of purple pants and a small vest in brown covering the shirt he was wearing.

Yumichka was the brightest clothed of the bunch, dressed in dark brown pants and a red shirt. Over his shirt he had a loose shirt in orange whit black dots. His wig was white whit black stripes here and there, a pair of tufty lynx like ears on the top. His face is painted whit a feline like nose and black dots to indicate a lynx spotty fur.

Maki Maki is dressed in a pair of purple pants and a grey shirt. Over the shirt a vest in brown is placed. His wig is grey giving him hair down to his shoulders, his donkey like ears hanging down on each side*

Kitty: *smiles as she sits down in the audience* Ladies and gentlemen let me introduce from the musical Rock and roll wolf, Taicho Suru and Mrs Unohana

As all the little goats around Unohana gathered up around her Kenpachi and his 3 men stood on the far end of the stage Kenpachi trying his best to look like a nice guy starting to sing and walk towards where Unohana and the rest of the goats stood.

Kenpachi:

How do you do,

I'm Zaraki taicho,

the friendliest wolf you've met,

you get the strangest things about me

for it's been said,

that I could be responsible for incidents unexplained,

people do invent the oddest things!

*Unohana scowled slightly gesturing for the smaller goats to hide behind her while she dealt whit the danger whenever it decided to approach her*

Kenpachi: *smiling slightly as he and the 3 other 11th members gained on the 4th squad's taicho and her 'children'*

Really now, what proof do you possess?

None at all, but someone must be blamed I guess!

Now as you may see dear Mrs Unohana, I'm rather civilised,

*Unohana snorted disbelieving*

this animosity (between) neighbours I do despise,

certainly I do confess I may be nervous now and then,

but if you'll let me, I'll explain.

Really now,

I simply can't get used,

to the noise your kids do; they're obstreperous!

*Unohana scowled as she heard this, not liking someone talking down to her children, looking over to see all 5 of them around her relaxing and looked up to Kenpachi again*

Now having exposed my case

please bear in mind that I'm a wolf,

that my incestual instincts is not at all repressed.

This is a final friendly warning; value it as you please.

Never again shall I be teased.

*Kenpachi smiled and started huming whitout really singing, the other three dancing around him like idiots before continuing to walk over to Unohana and children*

Really now,

of all the kids I've seen,

Unohana's ones are worth a rather fine cuisine.

How do you do I'm Zaraki taicho,

the friendliest wolf you've met,

*Unohana whispered something to Hitsugaya who nodded and ran off coming back whit a small broom wich Unohana held up ready to strike down Kenpachi when he got near then changed her mind giving it back to Hitsugaya asking him to put it back as Kenpachi was almost in front of her*

you get the strangest things about me for it's been said,

that I could be responsible for incidents unexplained,

people do invent the oddest things

Unohana *scowled, not wanting to hear an more of this poorly hidden malice emitting from the wolf like Kenpachi*

Enough. That's enough

Unohana: *scowls and start to sing, the 5 children around her smiling, glad this large brute is getting a piece of their mother's mind*

Your intentions, Mr. Zaraki,

I can very clearly see.

For the last time, Mr. Zaraki, don't go past this boundary.

For you would be, I am certain, underestimating me.

Children play and they be noisy, but they do so naturally.

Do remember, Mr. Zaraki, if good neighbours we should be.

Find your business, Mr. Zaraki, and just let my children be.

*Kenpachi and company stopped walking right outside the small fence of Unohana's property Kenpachi smiling and start to talk*

I am Zaraki Kenpachi. My followers call me Zaraki taicho

*Unohana nodded giving a small don't come closer smile deciding to play along*

And I am Mrs. Unohana

*Kenpachi stepped up and over the fence walking 2 steps into the property*

Now Unohana, there is a thing or two I'd like to discuss whit you

*Unohana held up an angry finger pointing warningly at him*

Don't… Don't come any closer

*Kenpachi smiled ignoring her warning taking a few more steps into the garden on stage*

Dearest Unohana, I must tell you to keep a better eye on your children. They don't behave very well you know

*Unohana scowled, a few in the cages gulping, knowing what happened to those who bad mouthed her underlings whit inn her earshot*

My children's attitude will not be criticised by you and I can't see whenever any of them has annoyed you

*Kenpachi got angry too growling low*

Your brats are unbearable. And I will not tolerate this any longer

*Unohana took one step towards Kenpachi her eyes promising hell if he continued this nonsense*

My children could not possibly disturbed you, simply because you where sound asleep and you didn't hear a thing

*Kenpachi smiled and walked up to Unohana, the 5 children running away hiding behind a three, the 3 11th squaders crouching behind the fence as Kenpachi and Unohana sang, the venom in both their voices apparent to anyone*

Kenpachi *smiled and walked behind Unohana singing calmly into her ear*:

I think I'm going to educate your turbulent little ones.

My methods are efficient and are equalled by none.

Unohana *wrinkled her nose in disgust and continued to sing not taking any crap from the tall brute of a wolf*:

Whatever it may be that's on your mind just remember this;

no matter how you try I'm not impressed. *points pointedly to the fence telling Kenpachi to get lost*

Kenpachi *smiled and gave a mock surprised look*

Really now,

but I guess we'll have to wait and see.

*He laughs and walks calmly away stepping over the fence, he and his officers exiting, Unohana calling out her children who runs over and hug her, afraid of the horrible wolf who has vanished, the song ending slowly*

Kitty: Well that was tense *snaps fingers and everyone is back in their cages dressed normally* so what do you guys think?

Isane: That looked like a musical version of an average day at our place actually, although Unohana taicho isn't that tense, and the 4th squaders aren't that small

Yumichka: Yeah taicho that was not beautiful of you. You made Unohana taicho mad.

Kenpachi: Shut it fruitcake before I hurt you

Kitty: Good to see everyone is being friendly to each other. Now that was all for Act 3 of 5, tune in soon to see the next instalment. Good night everyone


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Kitty *Walks inside snapping her fingers making everyone who is dying of hunger sit up no longer hungry* Hey guys, sorry for the wait lots to do and all that right? *smiles friendly*

Kukkaku: Need… to… hurt… you

Yoruichi: Hush Kukkaku don't agitate her for all you know she's gonna make you go up there

Kukkaku: Like hell I care, this girl has had us all dangling for ages forcing us to do her bidding like a bunch of loyal dogs, well I'll say I am not letting her get away whit it anymore I'm taking a stand, I am…

Kitty: The first one up on stage *holds up fingers ready to snap them*

Kukkaku: Bring it bitch, I'm not scared of you, so what am I getting? Rocking anarchist hating society? Discriminating society?

Kitty: *smiles evilly* No, you are singing a ballad

Kukkaku: *rolls eyes* Typical, so what's the big deal?

Kitty: You are singing to and for Kaien. *Snaps fingers as Kukkaku's face went from bored to shocked*

Kukkaku ended up on stage, dressed in a pale red dress. Around her shoulders a red shawl was hanging. Her hair hung loose as her whit head wrap was gone. The stage was a graveyard, not a scary one, but a sad one, whit angel statues, bare trees, and snow on the ground and on the tombstones. Kukkaku scowled at Kitty who smiled from her place.

Kitty: Ladies and gentlemen from the Phantom of the Opera comes the song Wish you where somehow here again* Smiles as she sits down in a chair conjuring up some popcorn* I am gonna enjoy this Shiba, you can start now

Kukkaku's face went from angry to sad as she walked along the graveyard randomly looking from left to right, singing softly, and yet everyone heard her voice clear as crystal, and every eye in the audience where goggling at the sight of a mild Shiba Kukkaku.

You were once my one companion

You were all that mattered

You were once a friend and brother

Then my world was shattered

Wishing you were somehow here again

Wishing you were somehow near

Sometimes it seem if I just dream

Somehow you would be here

Wishing I could hear your voice again

Knowing that I never would

Dreaming of you won't help me to do

All that you dreamed I could

Passing bells and sculpted angels

Cold and monumental

Seem for you the wrong companions

You were warm and gentle

Too many years

Fighting back tears

Why can't the past just die

Wishing you were somehow here again

Knowing we must say goodbye

Try to forgive teach me to live

Give me the strength to try

No more memories no more silent tears

No more gazing across the wasted years

Help me say goodbye'.

Help me say goodbye'

Kitty: *smiles and snaps fingers and Kukkaku is back in her cage* anything you want to say to me Kukkaku?

Kukkaku: *simply turns away from everyone and folds her good arm as well as her head in her lap trying to stop the tears* K-K-K-Kaien *sniff*

Ganju: *scowls at Kitty but is wise enough not to yell before he turns back to Kukkaku* Hey sis, are you ok?

Byakuya: *just blinks amazed* I can't believe you made Shiba Kukkaku cry… she never cries, not even when her arm got amputated did she cry, I'm not sure whether to congratulate you or not.

Kitty: *smiles* Why thank you Byakuya bo *ignores scowl coming from Byakuya's direction* We are going to have some more touching bonding moments, a little shall we say mother and son moment *Smiles as she hears gulps of fear from all females and small men and relieved sighs from the rest* That being said Matsumoto and Hitsugaya, you are up *snaps fingers and Hitsugaya and Matsumoto is on stage*

Hitsugaya is dressed like an English boy from the Oliver twist period whit dirt on his face and hands. Matsumoto is dressed in a dress like women from the same period wore her hair in disarray and dark rings under her eyes. The set is an old English house, Hitsugaya standing by the doorway, and Matsumoto sitting in a chair by a fireplace.

Kitty: *smiles her usual smile* And now, from the musical Sweeney Todd, comes the song, Not while I'm around.

Everyone smiles telling themselves that once again Hitsugaya is forced to play a small kids role… oh so wrong they where

Matsumoto: *looks over to where Hitsugaya steps in to stand behind a coach* Where have you been lad? Had quite the rush at dinnertime. My poor bones are ready to drop.

Hitsugaya: Mr Ichimaru sent me on an errand… and when I went back I went by the workhouse just to take a look. And I got to thinking… if it weren't for you, I'd be there now

Matsumoto: *sigh and smiles whit closed eyes*

Hitsugaya: there, or someplace worse… Seems like the good lord sent you for me

Matsumoto: *turns to look at Hitsugaya* Now love, I feel quite the same way

Hitsugaya: *steps up from behind the coach to stand at Matsumoto's side* Listen to me please; you know there is nothing I wouldn't do for you? Say, if there was someone around… someone bad? Only you didn't know it.

Matsumoto: *looks up curiously at Hitsugaya whit a small frown* What is this? What are you talking about?

Hitsugaya: *smiles and starts to sing*

Nothing's gonna harm you, not while I'm around.

Nothing's gonna harm you, no sir, not while I'm around.

Matsumoto: *still frowning tries to understand* what do you mean someone bad?

Hitsugaya: *ignores her and continues to sing*

Demons are prowling everywhere, nowadays,

I'll send 'em howling,

I don't care, I got ways.

Matsumoto: *sighs and strokes his cheeks trying to get him to not think about it* Hush now darling, no need for this *leans back whit the intention to get some sleep*

Hitsugaya: *frowns and continues stubbornly to sing*

No one's gonna hurt you,

No one's gonna dare.

Others can desert you,

Not to worry, whistle, I'll be there.

Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while,

But in time...

Nothing can harm you

Not while I'm around...

Matsumoto: *smiles and cups his cheek smiling a motherly smile* That's nice dear *sighs and raises herself from her chair walking up to the mantle of the fireplace looking into a mirror* Now what is this fuss, what are you talking about?

Hitsugaya: *stands right behind Matsumoto* Its just that I have been thinking… About Mr. Ichimaru

Matsumoto: *freeze for about 3 seconds before continuing what she where doing*

Hitsugaya: *lays a comforting hand on Matsumoto's shoulder and continues to sing*

Not to worry, not to worry

I may not be smart, but I ain't dumb.

I can do it. Put me to it.

Show me somethin - I can overcome.

Not to worry, ma'am.

Matsumoto: *smiles gently but walks away trying to hide her face from Hitsugaya*

Hitsugaya: *follows and continues to sing:

Being close and being clever

Ain't like being true.

I don't need to,

I would never hide a thing from you,

Like some... *glares at the audience, or rather at Gin's cage*

Matsumoto: *sighs one last time and drags out a purse* All right my dear, now we've had enough of this foolish chatter. *drags out a penny from her purse* Now here, I'll give you a new shiny penny, so go and buy us some toffees, ok?

Hitsugaya: *looks from the penny to the purse and gets alarmed* That is Mr. Urahara's purse *in the audience Soi sniggers at the idea of Urahara owning a purse*

Matsumoto: No it's not, it's just something Mr. I gave me for my birthday

Hitsugaya: Well that proves it, we've gotta go ma'am *takes Matsumoto's arm and tries to make a run for it* we've gotta find the cops and get out of here

Matsumoto: *stops Hitsugaya and gives him a comforting hug* Shhh Toshiro, hush now, we're not going anywhere *walks whit Hitsugaya and sits down whit him on the couch* Now you just sit right here next to me nice and quiet ok? *makes Hitsugaya relax, laying his head top her shoulder shooting him and dragging her hand through his hair* How could you think of such a thing about Mr. Ichimaru? He has been so good to us.

Matsumoto: *sighs as she starts to sing herself, her face looking pretty scared*

Nothin's gonna harm you. Not while I'm around.

Nothing's gonna harm you, darling

Not while I'm around.

Hitsugaya: *sits up smiling gently as he finishes the song whit gusto*

Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while,

But in time...

Nothing's gonna harm you

Not while I'm around...

Kitty: *smiles and snap fingers and Hitsugaya and Matsumoto ends back in their cages again*

Unohana: *sniffs* that was so sweet

Yumichka: A beautiful display

Nanao: I am at loss for words

Matsumoto *smiles gently at Hitsugaya* Aww taicho I didn't know you cared

Hitsugaya: *crosses his arms a faint blush spreading on his face* I don't, I was forced to sing this

Gin: *holds out hand* One question, what exactly did my character do that was so bad in that musical?

Kitty: Keeping it simple, Sweeney Todd, that's you, and Lovett, that's Matsumoto is quite the pair. I don't know the entire story as I haven't seen Sweeney Todd only heard the main plot, but anyways Mr. Todd takes in men to shave them, kills them and Lovett takes the meat and makes pies that everyone loves to eat, Toby, that's Hitsugaya knows that there is something shady going on, as well as the fact that Mr. Todd is hiding something from Lovett and well tries to convince Lovett that Mr. Todd is a bad guy.

Gin: Ah, well ok then carry on

Kitty: OK, the last song for the evening, then it's only one more act and you are all free

All: *cheers*

Kitty: *lifts an eyebrow* Good to know I'm loved… ok then last one out… I don't know if you can consider this a sad song or not, probably depends on your point of view I guess…*smiles and snaps fingers and everyone blinks as they see Stark appear on stage, Barragan, Halibel, Ulqiorra and Grimmjow in the back*

All of them are dressed in French clothes, like they wore during the revolution. Halibel has a tattered scarf around her face to hide her mask. The people in the background have dark rings under their eyes and are pale grey in the face. The set is a small room whit remarkable resemblance to Las Noches whit tables and chairs in white and black.

Kitty: And now for the last performance of the evening, from Les miserable, I give you empty chairs at empty tables.

Stark: sighs in sadness and looks around the room as he starts to sing*

There's a grief that can't be spoken.

There's a pain goes on and on.

Empty chairs at empty tables

Now my friends are dead and gone.

Here they talked of invasion.

Here it was they lit the flame.

Here they sang about `tomorrow'

And tomorrow never came.

From the table in the corner

They could see two worlds reborn

And they rose with voices ringing

I can hear them now!

The very words that they had sung

Became their last communion

On the lonely barricade at dawn.

Barragan, Halibel, Ulqiorra and Grimmjow walks up to a podium just looking down at Stark, not saying anything, clearly being ghosts who have fallen in the war

Stark: *looks to the heavens as if begging for forgiveness*

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me

That I live and you are gone.

There's a grief that can't be spoken.

There's a pain goes on and on.

Phantom faces at the window.

Phantom shadows on the floor.

Empty chairs at empty tables

Where my friends will meet no more.

Barragan, Halibel, Ulqiorra and Grimmjow walks off of the scene as if saying goodbye

Oh my friends, my friends, don't ask me

What your sacrifice was for

Empty chairs at empty tables

Now my friends will sing no more.

Kitty: *smiles and snaps fingers and the espada is back in their places* Well that was a little bit of what is going to happen in the future folks, I hope you enjoyed.

Halibel: *snorts* As if we are going to die by the hands of some lousy shinigami

Stark: Still I wonder, why did we start a war again?

Barragan: Because the shinigami's go around killing our kind whit out remorse claiming it is the right thing to do.

Stark: Well yes but don't we do the same thing? We eat other souls, claiming we need it to survive when we could be eating other weak hollows

Halibel: Are you saying we should just let the bloodbath continue? Have you no pride?

Stark: Sure, it's just that I suddenly got to thinking, we are fighting to prove that we are stronger than the shinigami and because we want to rule over them, true, but how come the only way we can do this is whit the help of 3 former shinigami's that we can't even trust will be on our side if we help them win the war, how does that make us their superiors?

……………….Silence………….cricket chirp………………

Stark: Anyone have the answer?

Ichigo: You're idiotically stupid or naive?

Halibel: Espada's only the rest of you shut up

Kitty: *smiles* And while the espada figures out why they are helping Aizen I will bid you all good night, see you next time for the final act.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Kitty: *stands in the spotlight at the middle of the scene* Dear viewers it's a sad day today, the last act of my Bleachified musicals *tries to continue but is unable by the cheers, whistles, applause and hallelujah's coming from the cages* IF THE ACTORS DON'T SHUT UP YOU WILL BE HERE FOR ANOTHER 5 ACTS, DON'T THINK I WONT DO IT

Everyone else pipes down, and Urahara and Kyoraku take of their hats and take it to their chests in mock grief

Kitty: Now then where was I?

Soi Fon: Jumping off a bridge?

Kitty: Hardy har Soi Fon… Listen here, have I told you that you are my favourite character in Bleach?

Soi Fon: Funny way of showing it

Kitty: Oh come on don't be like that, I have let you sing whit your beloved Yoruichi sama haven't I?

Soi Fon: I don't like what you are implying Petro

Kitty: *rolls eyes* Everyone here who thinks Soi Fon would like nothing more than to have hot lesbian sex whit Yoruichi raise a hand*

Everyone raises their hands including the espada and Ryoka, whit the exception of a blushing Soi and a blinking Yoruichi*

Yoruichi: Huh and here I thought you where just being shy because of our status

Soi Fon: *blushes hard*

Kitty: Hey how about I make it up to you? Huh Soi?

Soi Fon: I'm gonna regret asking this but how?

Kitty: Letting you kill Urahara on stage, now only fake but it's better than nothing

Soi Fon: Kill him how exactly?

Kitty: Pirate brawl, you make him jump of a plank and to be killed by sharks… I think

Soi Fon: *Smiles* you are starting to grow on me

Kitty: Tank you… so do we have a deal? *holds out hand*

Soi Fon: Deal *takes hand*

Kitty: Very well ladies and gentlemen let's start the show *snaps fingers*

Down at the stage Urahara appeared, dressed as a scurvy pirate whit an eye patch, cat ears and a tail, his face painted to look alike. Around him, Ichigo, Chad, Orihime, Uryuu, Tessai and Jinta appeared dressed like cat pirates too, only they where most notably under him. Orihime, Ururu and Rukia appeared on the side, they too a bit pirate like, but being placed more in the background as back up singers. Behind the scenes Soi Fon appeared dressed in an old Mongolian like armour whit hat and sword, her cat like ears and tail slim, for once not minding the face paint. Around her appeared about 5 of her most trusted members of the stealth force dressed somehow like her, but without all the jewellery on their uniforms as well as Isane, dressed in white, with white ears, a tail and face paint, as well as a white boa around her neck. The stage looked like a mix up of a junkyard and a ship, the men moving around to get in place.

Kitty: Ladies and gentlemen from the musical Cats here comes Urahara's last stand

Male chorus: *jumped around on stage like cats, swishing blades and smiling pirately beaconing and pointing at Urahara as they sang*

Urahara was a Bravo Cat who travelled on a barge

In fact he was the roughest cat that ever roamed at large

From Gravesend up to Oxford he pursued his evil aims

Rejoicing in his title of The Terror of the Thames

Urahara: *smiles wickedly and swings sword making fun of the boys who neared him*

Ichigo:

His manners and appearance did not calculate to please

Uryuu.

His coat was torn and seedy, he was baggy at the knees

Chad:

One ear was somewhat missing, no need to tell you why

Jinta:

And he scowled upon a hostile world from one forbidding eye

The girls joined in the song, helping the guys out at the next few lines:

The cottagers of Rotherhithe knew something of his fame

At Hammersmith and Putney people shuddered at his name

They would fortify the henhouse, lock up the silly goose

When the rumour ran along the shore: Urahara's on the loose!

Tessai:

Woe to the weak canary that fluttered from its cage

Rukia:

Woe to the pampered nobleman that faced Urahara's rage

Ichigo:

Woe to the bristly bandicoot that lurked on foreign ships

Orihime:

And woe to any cat with whom Urahara came to grips!

Uryuu: *holds out hand to signalize the importance of these next words, Urahara seeming very annoyed of his next words*

But most to cats of foreign race his hatred had been vowed

Ururu:

To cats of foreign name and race no quarter was allowed

Orihime:

The Persian and the Chinese regarded him with fear

Jinta: *whit horridly glee in his voice*

Because it was a Chinese who had mauled his missing ear

The guys calm down and huddles of the stage, except Chad who still stood singing gently:

Chad:

Now on a peaceful summer night all nature seemed at play

The tender moon was shining bright, the barge at Molsey lay

Girls in the back:

All in the balmy moonlight it lay rocking on the tide

And Urahara was disposed to show his sentimental side

Urahara comes walking out on stage trying his best to look good as Ichigo and Uryuu showed themselves for a little moment singing before being shushed away by Urahara

Uryuu:

Urahara's bucko mate Tessai long since had disappered

For to the Bell at Hampton he had gone to wet his beard

Ichigo:

And his bosun Jinta, he too had stolen away

In the yard behind the Lion he was prowling for his prey

Urahara smiled and turned bowing gently as Isane came walking out in all her white glory singing to her, and she to him, as Soi Fon and her crew silently jumped into the stage surrounding them whit their weapons at the ready

Urahara:

In the forepeak of the vessel Urahara sat alone

Isane:

Concentrating his attention on the lady Kotetsu

Urahara:

And his raffish crew were sleeping in their barrels and their bunks

Soi Fon and her men jumped into sight, singing whit heavily thick Asian dialects:

As the Chinese came creeping in their sampans and their junks

Urahara: *not seeing the danger around him holding Isane gently continuing to sing whit her*

Urahara had no eye or ear for aught but Kotetsu

Isane: *blushed but sang whit him*

And the lady seemed enraptured by his manly baritone

Both:

Disposed to relaxation and awaiting no surprise

Soi Fon and her men: *still singing, walking silently around the two making escape impossible*

But the moonlight shone reflected from a thousand bright blue eyes

And closer still and closer the sampans circled round

And yet from all the enemy there was not heard a sound

Choir: *nervous from the background as if trying to tell Urahara and Isane to look out*

The foe was armed with toasting forks and cruel carving knives

Urahara and Isane: *still ignoring and singing, gazing lovingly at each other*

And the lovers sang their last duet in danger of their lives

Urahara and Isane started singing an Italian aria, smiling… until they finished and Soi stood up from her crouching right behind the two lovers taking her queue

Soi Fon:

Then Soi Fon gave the signal to her fierce Chinese horde

With a frightful burst of fireworks, the Chinks they swarmed aboard

Rukia: *from her place continued to sing as Isane ran off the stage*

Then Kotetsu she gave a screech, for she was badly scared

I am sorry to admit it

But she quickly disappeared

Urahara: *smiled gently that his love was saved*

She probably escaped with ease

I'm sure she was not drowned

Soi Fon: *singing whit her men smiling as she holds a sword up to Urahara's face*

But a serried ring of flashing steel Urahara did surround

Everyone in the chorus came back on stage as they continued to sing, while Urahara and Soi Fon had a wild swordfight at the middle of the stage, until they arrived at a platform that led outside the scene Soi pointing her sword at Urahara beckoning him forward

Choir:

The ruthless foe pressed forward in stubborn rank on rank

Urahara to his vast surprise was forced to walk the plank

He who a hundred victims had driven to that drop

At the end of all his crimes was forced to go kerflip kerflop

Urahara sighed and jumped off the stage whit a scream, Soi jumping at the center of the stage doing some wicked sword moves while the chorus ended the song

Choir:

Oh there was joy in Wapping when the news flew through the land

At Maidenhead and Henley there was dancing on the Strand

Rats were roasted whole at Brentford and Victoria Dock

And a day of celebrations was commanded in Bangkok

Kitty: *snaps fingers and everyone is back* Well then any comments?

Byakuya: Too many to count… since when did Kotetsu fuku taicho show an interest for Urahara?

Kitty: I needed someone tall who'd look good in white, Isane was the natural choice

Isane: Gee thanks

Kitty: Oh stop sulking you know you liked it

Nemu: I have a question, why was Soi Fon taicho dressed in Mongolian clothes when she was Chinese?

Kitty: In the original show it was a Mongolian horde and leader who took down Growl tiger… I mean Urahara, I just wrote Chinese because Soi is Chinese.

Hitsugaya: Can we get on whit it? I want to get out of here sometime today.

Kitty: Right you are Shiro Chan, now the next song is somewhat of a classic, everyone who claims to be a musical fan has heard this song at least once in their lifetime. That being said let's get this show on the road *snaps fingers and smiles as Nemu and Mayuri appears down at the stage, in a strange sewer setting, whit candles in the water, and the two of them in a gondola, Mayuri standing behind Nemu who sits in the boat. Mayuri is dressed in black whit a mask hiding half of his face, scowling as he notices that both his purple blue hair is visible and whit the help of hair gel almost blued to his head and neck in a slick hairdo, as is half of his face, visible without his usual mask to hide his human appearance. Nemu sits in the boat whit her hair in curls, whit small pearls braided into her hair, a single shawl draped around her neck* Now then ladies and gentlemen from the musical The phantom of the Opera comes the song, The phantom of the opera

Nanao: *smiling in spite of herself, thinking, Kurotsuchi taicho on stage? This was going to be good*

Kitty smiled sitting in her chair, noticing every shinigami's face showing the same look saying, about time that bastard was humiliated. She also noticed how the hair stood on some arms as the organ music started to play, and the scene's wings started moving, so it looked as if Mayuri and Nemu drifted down a real pipe line, Nemu singing clearly making everyone smile

Nemu:

In sleep he sang to me,

in dreams he came ...

that voice which calls to me and speaks my name ...

And do I dream again?

For now I find

the Phantom of the Opera is there - inside my mind ...

Mayuri smiled his old usual creepy smile holding out his hand beaconing for Nemu while ordering her around like he always did:

Sing once again with me our strange duet ...

My power over you grows stronger yet ...

And though you turn from me,

to glance behind,

the Phantom of the Opera is there - inside your mind ...

Nemu: *looked sad into the boat, as she felt her fathers shadow looming over her, singing in realisation of what this song meant even as she sang them out loud*

Those who have seen your face draw back in fear ...

I am the mask you wear ...

Mayuri:

It's me they hear ...

Both:

Your/My spirit and my/your voice in one

combined: the Phantom of the Opera

is there - inside your/my mind ...

Nemu: *Continued to sing, her voice echoing in the halls*

He's there,

the Phantom of the Opera ...

Beware the Phantom of the Opera ...

Mayuri: *looking more and more of a madman (more than usual then)*

Sing, my Angel of Music!

Nemu sang, holding her tone beautifully, making the others in the audience share a glance that said, wow

Mayuri:

Sing my angel

And Nemu did, still holding the same tone, making some wonder when she was going to breath

Mayuri:

Sing for me

Nemu sang not daring to defy such a direct order

Mayuri:

Sing… Sing my angel

Sing for me

As Nemu finished her tone Kitty smiled snapping her fingers and the two 12th squaders ended back in their cages

Mayuri: The first one who talks about this will be killed, any questions?

Matsumoto: *sitting next to Nemu smiled and nodded* Yeah, how in the name of good did you manage to hold that last tone Nemu?

Nemu: Mayuri Sama told me to sing, so I did

Kitty: Ahem a little focus here please? *Everyone looked at her* we are at the last performance now and wanted to say a little something. I thank you all for the memories and hope to see you all again someday

Hitsugaya: The feeling is not mutual

Kitty: *Smiles* Whatever you say Shiro Chan… now then you will sing, I will bid my adieu, you will find the keys in your cells and the swords at the exit, any questions?

………. Cricket chirp………..

Kitty: Very well then, last song, and this I am going to enjoy *snaps fingers and suddenly Byakuya, Renji, Gin, Kira, Kenpachi, Ikkaku, Soi Fon, Tousen, Hisagi, Aizen, Momo, Unohana, Hanataro, Rukia, Matsumoto and Hitsugaya appeared on stage, together whit some random shinigami. She smiled as they all blinked*

Hisagi: *looks at himself* What, no costumes?

Soi Fon: *glares at Gin, Aizen and Tousen* Why are the 3 traitors dressed in their shinigami outfits?

Kenpachi: *holding up a plastic version of his own sword* and why do we have fake swords that look just like our own strapped on us?

Kitty: If you could listen I will tell you *Silence* the last song for the evening is a special one, my favourite song from the Bleach musicals.

Hitsugaya: There is a Bleach musical?

Kitty: 6 actually. Saiien kind of sucks but the rest are great. I leave you copies of those too at the exit if you want to see them. Now then ladies and gentlemen for the last time I give you from the musical Bleach bankai show code 002, the song, Another world (I think that's the English translation, bear whit me)

The stage got dark and the shinigami all took up a squared paper lamp wich gloved, the ones in the audience barely seeing anything but the light as the music started and everyone on stage started to sing:

All:

Passing through the dry wind

Without disturbing it

Without a sound we come

The shining swords are like arrows of fire

We govern over mad death

Ugly wandering souls

Shall we guide them to liberation?

*The lights turned on again and everyone saw the shinigami on stage their most serious faces in place*

We are the Gotei 13 squads

This is another world

*The music turned faster and a big lightning show started as everyone got in place, the music stopping for a second as Byakuya stood in the middle of the stage, walking around as if he owned the entire thing, the random shinigami around him doing some choreographed dance while the 6th squad taicho sang*

Byakuya:

The commoners can not understand

The pride that the noble must bear

This noble will

The established laws are

The guide post to the future

In order to protect the pure order

My fate is to stake this body in my work

As Byakuya finished Renji jumped in next to him continuing on the song giving his taicho's turned back a small glare. Showing off whit his sword skills

Renji:

There are annoying guys that walk over others

Unless you become strong

There is no meaning to living anywhere

I will not become a slave to this world

I will just keep pressing forward

According to my instincts

Till these cells burn out

As Renji finished his part, Gin came walking down a pair of stairs smiling his usual smile, walking to the middle of the room standing there singing, not noticing Kira who stood right behind him

Gin:

Won't someone play whit me?

Can't help being bored

Since I played bad pranks

Butterfly, Butterfly

Shall I tell you a secret?

Is it a sweet secret or a bitter secret?

Whichever way you like it

Gin turned around in a circle, Kira doing the same, making Kira stand in front, bent down on one knee, his hand on Wabiske as he sang

Kira:

I shake my legs under my hakama

My fate whit you saves me from wretchedness

My loyalty is my only strength

So I will follow you no matter where you go

The path I walk is the Silver path

Kira stood up in a flash, and he and Gin turned away from each other, making what looked like a small frame, where Kenpachi stood suddenly, singing in his own rough voice, still sounding bad ass even when singing

Kenpachi:

Is this the end?

Or is it the beginning of a new life?

In darkness even deeper than darkness

You can hear the echo of my war blood cry

Let me enjoy myself

No matter where I go I will be a beast

He turned around heading for the back, as Ikkaku ran across the stage, surrounding the random shinigami who once again did a choreographed number as he sang

Ikkaku:

From the skies to my toes

All that gets in my way

Will be torn down

I want to feel the nakedness

Of the moment

Make your heart one

And make your decision

I'll show you

The manly way

The spotlight went from Ikkaku on one side to Soi Fon on the other. The petite taicho walked slowly as she sang, looking around at the random shinigami who did some basic back flips and sunk down to their knees looking to the ground in respect of her authority

Soi Fon:

I was raised to believe

That strength was everything

You guys are jokes

Disgraceful living corpses

Everything was for completing the mission

The breath turns white and then you die

Soi scowled at the audience and turned, as Tousen came out on the stage singing and walking stopping at almost the other end of the stage, Hisagi walking up to him glaring slightly as Tousen sang:

Tousen:

Blocking the light

Justice is reflected in them

What colour are these eyes

There is no way for me to know

I have been stepped on by everything

I am resolute, I must fall

As Tousen finished Hisagi walked out, holding out his hand at first, before laying it on the fake Kazeshini, singing while turning gently and dragging a few fingers over his scars on his face

Hisagi:

The sharpened body

Shave down the splinters to form fangs

The void at my limits

Change into a stimulus

Without a flicker of light

If I see this through

It will touch this wound

Standing atop a platform Aizen is suddenly in the lamplight smiling his usual devil smile singing as if he where still the 5th squad taicho without a worry in the world

Aizen:

What do you believe?

What direction do you take?

It changes like the seasonal snow melting

It's not a dream, without a doubt it's reality

Smile and face the sky

Next to Aizen Momo appeared smiling gently at the audience as she sang, Renji and Kira leaning up to her where she stood, the three old classmates having a nostalgic moment as she sang

Momo:

I walk the path that I have yearned for

I've made it this far competing

And being supported by my comrades

I will not give this position to anyone

I will just keep running

I will look straight forward

At the left en of the stage Unohana appeared, smiling her motherly smile, hand reaching out as if to touch the moon, singing gently as if to a child, her eyes a little troubled

Unohana:

One wish while drifting in the night

The moon looks for someone tonight

I foolishly interfere

In the quietness of the heart

All I can do is watch

Eventually one reaches the end

At the base of the scene Hanataro comes walking, smiling shyly as he sings his part, sounding as resolute as he will ever be

Hanataro:

True strength is grown

From the seed of gentleness

That's why it doesn't matter

If I'm drenching wet

It's so that I can find the new me

I still cannot see the top

Hanataro walked gently away from the spotlight as Rukia ran into it singing so full of passion that it blows the people in the cages away, her hand going from stretching out in the air to hold around the fake hilt of her Zanpakuto

Rukia:

This thinking left my body

And my heart whit the wind

I tend my hand to this pure and white blade

The light of the moon accompany my praying

And memories while I sleep deeply

Dance Sode no Shirayuki

Now soar to heaven and earth

The spotlight gradually disappears from Rukia, settling on Matsumoto who smiled, loving the stage, singing so nice it made everyone smile

Matsumoto:

Even if battle is inside me

I don't ever want to forget to live as a flower

You can't create your future

If you begrudge your origins

I won't disgrace the name Rangiku

Gracefully, supplely, I proudly bloom

The stage is once again fully lit, but all eyes are on a singing Hitsugaya, who is walking whit his arms crossed down a staircase to the center of the scene. Once he is there and getting close to his finish, everyone in the background starts holding a tone, singing gently whit him

Hitsugaya:

I'm wrapped up in smoke

The scene before my eyes become cloudy

No matter where I go

I will expose the truth

I fight to protect someone

The corrupt won't stop me

As he finished his song the others walk gently around finding their place, and just as Hitsugaya is finished, everyone finishes the song whit one hell of a chorus, finally standing in various poses on the stage

All:

Listen carefully

At our cry tearing apart the darkness

Fluttering, fluttering, the dancing shadows

The pale dark butterflies of hell

Torn up wings without form

They receive a beautiful death

Lonely gallant souls

Shall we guide you to the end?

We are the Gotei 13 squads

This is another world

As the song finished everyone applauded, even the ones on stage. From were Kitty sat hidden invisible in the darkness, she wasn't sure if it was because of the song or because they where free. She snapped her fingers and all cages opened, reiatsu controlling bracelets fell off, and a bucket whit everyone's weapons appeared on stage. She was about to leave when she suddenly heard something that made her turn around

Orihime: Hey guys before we leave, I was wondering if we could do one last thing.

Kyoraku: *smiled* It's not like we don't have the time, what did you have in mind?

Orihime: Well if everyone who have preformed here makes a line in the front here, and those who haven't sung sits down

Everyone did and Kitty smiled at the ones who stood on stage. Not including all those random no names shinigami she saw as they all placed themselves in a line at the end of the stage.

There was Soi Fon, Matsumoto, Momo, Hiyori, Kiyone, Nanao, Urahara, Gin, Hitsugaya, Shinji, Sentaro, Shunsui, Yoruichi, Lisa, Mashiro, Unohana, Kensei, Renji, Rukia, Ichigo, Orihime, Tatsuki, Isane, Nemu, Halibel, Neliel, Sun Sun, Mila Rose, Apache, Grimmjow, Szayel, Ulqiorra, Stark, Nnoitora, Jinta, Yuzu, Kenpachi, Ikkaku, Yumichka, Maki Maki, Hanataro, Yachiru, Kukkaku, Barragan, Chad, Uryuu, Tessai, Mayuri, Byakuya, Kira, Tousen, Hisagi and Aizen, all of them standing a bit uncomfortably at standing on stage voluntarily

Orihime: OK now I know this might sound corny but… it is usual after a musical that the actors come and take a final bow, as if to ask the audience if they did a good job.

Ichigo: OK so… on 3?

Everyone nodded, it was like saying good bye, they had spent so much time in here that it was only natural that they did it.

Kitty smiled as they did their bow, and gently snapped her fingers one last time, making the room explode into applause, as if every seat in the house was filled, leaving the theatre and the Bleach cast behind, at least for the moment

End


End file.
